“I find posting and engaging on social media draining,” I recently confessed to Adriana Tica, who was helping me level up my game on LinkedIn. “Oh, we all do,” she responded.
While I was relieved to hear I wasn’t alone in feeling this way, as a mindset coach, I knew the thought “Social media is a necessary evil” wouldn’t inspire the empowering feelings or effective actions I needed.
So, I decided to step back, calm my mind, and approach social media with fresh eyes—this time from a place of curiosity and wisdom.
Here’s what I’ve realized: building an online business boils down to balancing three key aspects:
I’ve always loved creating content. Researching ideas, synthesizing them, and sharing insights with the world comes naturally to me—it feels like nourishment for my soul.
What’s harder for me (and many others) is building an engaged audience. Without one, even the best content feels like shouting into the void.
A friend recently shared her frustration with me: “I post and post and post, but no one reads it—no one comments. I spend hours creating good content, but I get zero engagement. I’m so tired of it.”
I felt her pain. Last year, I stepped away from LinkedIn for three months, burned out and defeated. At the time, I thought I needed rest. But what I truly needed was a break from my unhelpful thinking about social media.
We scroll through feeds and assume everyone else is crushing it—building massive audiences, raking in sales, and living picture-perfect lives. But remember: appearances can be deceiving.
In Afrikaans, we say, “Paper is patient,” meaning you can write anything and make it seem true. In the digital age, I’d adapt it to: “Pixels are patient.” It’s easier than ever to create an illusion of success online.
2. Dealing with Nastiness
People tend to be bolder—and often meaner—online. They feel anonymous, even when using their real names, and can type scathing comments without considering their impact.
The key is to understand that rejection or humiliation doesn’t come from others—it’s created by our own minds. By returning to the silent, steady center within us, we can weather criticism and stay grounded.
Ah, the algorithm: a constant, ever-changing puzzle designed to benefit the platform, not the user. Trying to “crack” it can feel like chasing a moving target, leaving you stifled and creatively drained.
But what if we stopped fighting it and reframed our thinking? To do that, we need to look at dopamine for a minute.
Social media thrives on “fast dopamine.” Here’s an analogy to explain how it works:
Like candy floss, fast dopamine feels amazing in the moment—bright, sweet, and exhilarating. But it burns out quickly, leaving you craving more.
THINK: refreshing your notifications, counting likes, or crossing off low-impact tasks on your to-do list.
Slow dopamine, on the other hand, is like whole-grain bread. It takes longer to digest but provides steady, lasting energy. \
THINK: completing a long-term project, nurturing a key client relationship, or building systems in your business.
Balanced dopamine is like savoring a piece of rich, dark chocolate. It’s a treat, but it also has substance.
THINK: taking a short break to celebrate a milestone or engaging meaningfully on social media without overindulging.
For me, creating content is like eating whole-grain bread. It’s deep, fulfilling work that feeds my creativity. Yet, I’ve sometimes felt guilty about it.
I know a very successful coach who likes to ask, “Are you creating content, or are you creating clients?” I would feel torn, loving content creation but doubting its value.
Then I stumbled upon Seth Godin’s famous insight:
It was a liberating reframe.
Recently, I saw super successful YouTuber Ali Abdaal shares how he often turns down lucrative speaking gigs—complete with business-class flights and luxury hotels—because he loves creating content more. That resonated deeply with me.
Creating content, I realized, is not just enjoyable—it’s essential. And as the so-called godfather of SEO, Rand Fishkin, puts it, “Best way to sell something: don’t sell anything. Earn the awareness, respect, and trust of those who might buy.” Sharing your ideas with others in a compelling way is a big part of this.
Inspired by this fresh perspective, I’ve restructured my day. Every morning, I block out two hours for uninterrupted, deep work—writing and refining ideas. It’s been bliss.
I’m not only improving how I share concepts but also deepening my understanding of them. And above all, this practice repeatedly presses my “happiness button,” making building a thriving coaching practice both sustainable and joyful.
To grow my audience without falling into the “candy-floss dopamine” trap, I treat social media more like dark chocolate—deliberate, intentional, and enjoyable. I ask myself two key questions:
This means being present—not distracted—while interacting online. Every comment or connection becomes an opportunity to build relationships, not just tick off a task.
Enjoyment is my natural state. When I allow myself to lean into that state, I enter flow. Everything becomes easier—and more meaningful.
Together, these two questions create a virtuous loop: the more I enjoy social media, the more engaged I am. And the more engaged I am, the more I enjoy it.
When you let go of unhelpful thinking—like “beating the algorithm”—and create your own success metrics, social media becomes far less daunting.
Are there areas in your business where stale thinking is holding you back? Where do you feel stuck or uninspired, unable to slip into that effortless flow state where the next steps become obvious?
If so, let’s talk. Book a complimentary coaching session with me, and together, we’ll uncover your fresh take on building your business—one that makes it joyful and impactful.