If you live to the ripe old age of 80, you’ll have about 4000 weeks to spend on this earth. British author Oliver Burkeman even wrote a book about this, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. His point wasn’t that you should cram as much doing and achieving into those 4000 weeks as possible. Quite the opposite.
The big insight from that book was that your time is limited. It’s true that you can do anything you want in this world, but you can’t do everything. You’re a finite being. You want to choose the things you spend your time on wisely. You want to choose them intentionally.
As The Dragon Whisperer, I’d like to add a second point. Once you’ve chosen, give it your full attention. Be present. Let go of the illusion of multitasking. Embrace your finiteness and commit fully to the moment.
What Should You Choose?
How do you know what to choose, especially as an ambitious entrepreneur?
Here’s a wild idea: spend your time doing things that make you happy.
Does that seem too shallow a goal to pursue? Happiness often gets dismissed as a kind of giddy silliness. You know, like that catchy song by Pharrell Williams. It’s a song I really like, by the way.
“Clap along if you feel that happiness is the truth.”
(Oh no, now I gave you an earworm for the rest of the day.)
In some cultures, smiling too much can even make people take you less seriously. But is happiness really such a frivolous goal?
The Harvard Professor Who Teaches Businesspeople About Happiness
Professor Arthur Brooks teaches a popular course on happiness at Harvard Business School. Of all places!
In his words: “I teach about happiness—not in a superficial way but as a discipline that shapes the ‘business of life.’”
As a mindset coach for entrepreneurs, that resonates deeply. If you’ve coached with me, you know that fulfillment and true joy are goals I often encourage my clients to chase.
Recently, I watched a speech by Brooks that summarized his views on the pursuit of happiness. Here are my biggest takeaways—and my thoughts on some of his points.
Happiness is More Than a Feeling
“Happiness is a sign of something deeper that you can understand, change, and cultivate by adjusting your habits,” Brooks says.
The three big ingredients of happiness:
1. Enjoyment – More than just in-the-moment pleasure, delight adds meaning to experiences and makes them memorable.
2. Satisfaction – The joy from achieving something difficult through struggle.
3. Meaning – The sense that your life is coherent, purposeful, and significant.
In my opinion, entrepreneurs put too much emphasis on satisfaction. They chase accomplishments, especially the hard ones, like building a successful business, while neglecting enjoyment and meaning. This creates lopsided happiness that doesn’t fully satisfy.
Now that we know what happiness is made of, let’s look at where to cultivate it.
Brooks’ Four Arenas of Happiness
1. Faith
Faith can mean religion, but it can also mean philosophy, meditation, music, or time in nature. It’s about believing in something bigger than yourself.
According to Brooks, the ability to live in awe amplifies happiness. It lets your small ego dissolve into a greater perspective. Faith helps foster both meaning and enjoyment.
2. Family
We are wired to be connected to our people. Yet today, many families are fractured over political differences. That is not the route to happiness.
Good family relationships bring enjoyment (through shared joy) and meaning (through purpose and belonging). Even satisfaction, the challenging but rewarding work of maintaining deep connections, can be part of family life.
I had a complicated relationship with my mother for years. One of my proudest achievements was turning that relationship around before she passed away. Here are three insights that helped me:
1. Relationships are made of thoughts. If you feel bad about someone, it’s because of a bad thought. But thoughts are fleeting. If you don’t act on them immediately, they pass.
2. Deliberately cultivate good feelings. Focus on their strengths, past good times, or their struggles. Let empathy lead your interactions.
3. Set boundaries. Boundaries are just saying no graciously and without guilt. Compassion doesn’t mean fixing someone else’s emotions. Letting go of co-dependency improves relationships.
A great media personality once said: The best way to gauge someone’s well-adjustment is to look at their closest relationships. If the people who know you best love being around you, you’re on the right track.
3. Friends
Friendships, especially in America, are in trouble.
• In 1990, 33% of Americans had ten or more close friends. By 2021, only 13% did.
• The number of Americans with no close friends rose from 3% to 12%.
• Among 18-24-year-olds, only 64% have confidants, and just 51% have friends who would offer practical help.
How to fix that is a conversation for another day, but for now, it’s helpful to consider Professor Brooks’s insight into friends.
He distinguishes between real friends and deal friends:
• Deal friends help you professionally, networking, introductions, LinkedIn recommendations.
• Real friends enrich your life with no transaction involved.
It’s a good use of your 4000 weeks to prioritize real friendships. They add enjoyment and meaning in a way no career move or business success ever will.
4. Work
This is the arena where entrepreneurs excel. But Brooks offers a two-pronged test to maximize happiness at work or in your business:
1. Create value.
2. Serve others.
Joy at work comes from being rewarded for merit and knowing your efforts make a difference. Work ties deeply to satisfaction, as success feels best when it’s hard-won.
Entrepreneurship shines here. It’s the ultimate meritocracy, rewarding the right actions and effort. A sense of agency (knowing your actions matter) is critical for mental well-being.
So, now that you know deep, meaningful happiness is worth chasing…
What will you do with your 4000 weeks on earth?
As Tolkien put it in The Lord of the Rings, all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
What will you do?