The surprising reason it’s not so bad if your mother doesn’t love you

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Which country has the most time zones?

Russia? China? Canada? The US?

Wrong!

It’s France.

France still has far-flung overseas territories that are legally part of the French mainland. So, France has 12 time zones that stretch right around the globe.

That was a little unexpected, wasn’t it?

Hold onto that surprised feeling. We’re going to get back to that in a while.

What do you and your mother have to do with France?

Could this be you?

“My mother doesn’t like me. And no matter what I do, I’m not good enough. I always fall short, even though I’ve made a lot of good choices in my life. She also always flaunts that other people are good enough.”

Can you bring up that surprised feeling about France and its gazillion time zones? Because I want to surprise you again.

What if I were to tell you the only job your mother ever had was to bring you into the world and to make sure you survived past infancy?

And she did her job, right? Because here you are, reading this email.

What if it wasn’t her job to:

  • make you feel good about yourself?
  • build your self-confidence?
  • take care of you in any way emotionally?

I know it seems a bit drastic, but what I’m trying to do is to force your brain to think about this in a new way.

Often, we can experience feelings that fluctuate wildly, but our minds are not so flexible. So, play along with me.

What if it were:

  • true your mother is in no way responsible for your emotional well-being?
  • possible your childhood didn’t define you forever and ever?
  • true you’re able to take care of you, physically, emotionally, spiritually?

And here’s an even bigger shocker.

What if you’re actually the only one who can take care of you?    

Often as adult daughters, we still rely on our mother’s love, approval and validation to make us feel good about ourselves. Sometimes without realizing it!

Or we tell ourselves her treatment of us scarred us for life. We’re a lost cause.

This is a lie we’re telling ourselves

We’ll do so much better if we find our ultimate worth in our Other Parent

Each and every one of us will do much better if we look to our Other Parent to find our ultimate worth. He is the One who truly accepts and loves us. So much, that He gave his only begotten Son to die in our place.

Can you run with this new insight you are 100% capable of taking care of yourself emotionally?

  • Do you feel the agency that gives you?
  • The freedom to create the life you truly want?
  • The independence of not needing any person ever again to make you feel good?

And because you don’t NEED anybody other than God and yourself, you can just WANT to be with other people?

Practice seeing where you’re still attributing your feelings to what your mother has done, is doing or is not doing. Then find the thoughts that give you those feelings. The next step is to see if you can make your brain think about it in new ways.

You want to S-T-R-E-T-C-H and surprise your brain

It’s going to be hard. You want to S-T-R-E-T-C-H your brain to be like France with all those far-flung territories.

And if you want to step into this amazing agency as soon as possible, that with the help of God you can take care of yourself, hire me as your coach.

The overall aim of my coaching is to teach your brain to look to yourself and God for all of your emotional needs. Because then you’re really empowered and unchained to serve Him with heart, soul and mind.

And yes, of course you can teach yourself that. But, if you really want to speed things up, get the outside perspective of someone who’s done this work and can show you all the shortcuts? Then it’s time to get a coach.

Email me and let’s talk about setting up a free call so that the two of us can decide if we’d be a good fit.

Yes, I want to feel better immediately