How to win the blame game

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Picture this …

Imagine me hanging over a cliff edge.

I’m desperately clinging to the bare rock with my fingers.

The rock is painfully biting into my skin.

I’m tired and weak.

But I’m holding onto the rock, too scared to let go.

Because if I let go, I’m afraid of falling into the abyss, where I’ve been before.

The abyss is where I hate myself

The dark abyss is the place where I feel utterly unlovable and worthless. 

Because when I ask myself…

  • why doesn’t my mother love me the way I need to be loved?

the answer always is …

  • because there’s something wrong with me. 

In the abyss I feel horrible about myself.

Not good enough.

Less than.

Until it strikes me it’s all my mother’s fault. She:

But now I find myself hanging unto that cliff. How did I get there?

The cliff is the belief the only way to protect myself, is to blame my mother.

The cliff is the belief the only way to protect myself, is to blame my mother.

I really feel so much better about my mother and myself once I find the perfect label for her. Actually, two perfect labels.

  • One very fancy-sounding one. She has Dependent Personality Disorder.
  • And one very angry one. She’s a crazymaker.

Using these labels meant she’s the one with the problem. Therefore, I can feel better about myself. At least for a while.

When I convince myself, the bad relationship is my mother’s fault, I can crawl out of the dark hole where I hate myself so much.

Do you have labels for your mom too?

Do you have labels for your mom too?

  • Narcissistic?
  • Dysfunctional?
  • Controlling?
  • Cold and critical?

And one of the reasons you don’t want to try life coaching is because you fear I’m going to tell you to drop the label. Then you’ll feel bad about yourself again.

I’m not going to make you feel bad again. Promise.

I never completely believed myself that everything was my mother’s fault.

That’s how I ended up hanging for dear life at that cliff again and again.

What I didn’t know was my feet were only inches away from solid ground.

If I could only gather my courage and let go of the rock, I’d be safe. The pain and fatigue gone.

And what’s the steady ground? A completely new way of thinking about you and your mother

And what’s the steady ground?

A completely new way of thinking about me and my mother.

Where there’s no blame and no guilt.

Just freedom and peace.

Oh, if you can just see how close the steady ground is for you too.

I have something for you ...

I made a video about a 4-step-process to help you keep your cool around your mother.

Once you “get” this process, you’ll be unflappable even if she tries to provoke you.

You’ll be able to let go of the cliff. Let go of the labels.

And at last feel great about yourself.

Because you will take back every ounce of agency you have over your own mind and heart. And own your life.

Do you always want to keep your cool with your mother?

Find out how by using a simple 4-step-process, called the SOFT approach.

Yes, I want to feel better immediately