The Disraeli Effect. Ever heard of it?

A woman once dined with two British politicians: Gladstone and Disraeli. Afterward, she said:

• “After dining with Gladstone, I believed he was the smartest person in the world.”
  • “After dining with Disraeli, I believed I was the smartest person in the world.”

And who won the election? Disraeli.

Is your takeaway that people are drawn to those who get them to talk and talk about themselves?

Not so fast.

When I was a freelance writer, a simple check mix-up introduced me to another journalist. She was warm, curious, and full of energy, but something was missing. She let me talk and talk about myself, yet never shared anything about herself.

That connection never deepened. Why?

Because trust requires reciprocity.

People need to see your real self: your wins, your struggles, your heart. Only then can a genuine bond form.

Listening makes people feel seen. But revealing makes them feel safe.

Being curious opens the door. Being real invites people in.

Trust isn’t built through curiosity alone.

It’s built when you’re brave enough to show up as you.

If you’re growing a personal brand, leading a team, or building client relationships, this balance of presence and vulnerability isn’t optional. It’s the difference between shallow rapport and lasting influence.

Want help showing up more powerfully and authentically in your business and in your life?

That’s what I help my coaching clients do, without forcing, faking, or oversharing.

Imagine bypassing the need to perform constantly and instead reconnecting with what makes you unique.

Want to find out how?